Do you feel that your entire life depends on certain decisions you make?
And just can’t decide? Because you are super scared of making the wrong decisions?
So many women have difficulties deciding.
They can’t say YES. Because YES would mean change. And change is unsafe. At least for our unconscious ‘safety mechanism’ it is.
Change is unsafe
We all have a mechanism that wants to keep us safe. Not happy, not fulfilled, not successful. Just safe. And that mechanism has learned that in the situation you are currently in you are safe, because you are still alive.
So if you are considering taking new steps, that mechanism doesn’t know whether you will survive that and whether you will be safe. So it will do its best to keep you in the safe zone. Therefore, it will come up with all kinds of excuses like too busy, too expensive, too…
It will trigger all kinds of strategies to distract you (Hello Netflix) so you procrastinate.
And will make you nuts with continuous head chatter and sooo many ‘yes but’ and ‘what if’ thoughts…
Fear of Failure
You might fear that if you say YES and things don’t work out, your entire life will fall to pieces. You would fail and you won’t be able to overcome that. You would be judged, not good enough, be a loser, would be so ashamed, feel guilty and worthless and you believe that you’ll never be able to go back and undo that damage.
Torn
But then on the other hand you are not able to say NO.
Maybe because you are just too afraid of missing out. Because you don’t want to disappoint others and don’t want to run the risk of being rejected. Because you want to be loved, appreciated, validated, and belong.
Or maybe because deep down your gut screams YES and you feel so torn.
Can’t decide
So you stay in limbo. You won’t move. You overanalyze and paralyze.
But as Daniell Koepke is so beautifully saying:
‘The truth is that the decisions in your life don’t have to be all or nothing. There aren’t only two options, and the options don’t have to be limited to “you succeed and experience joy” or “you fail and experience pain.”
Life is fluid. It is unpredictable and always changing. And it’s resilient. No single choice is strong enough to make or break your life. Nothing you chose has to be the end of you.
You can always walk down a different path.
You can always close doors that don’t serve.
You never have to stay stuck.
There are always options.’
But then you might wonder: What options do I have? As I still don’t know what to do, and that drives me crazy!
Fear-Led and Heart-Led
In my opinion, you have options that are fear-led. These are choices that you make (or don’t make) because you want to avoid something. Or they are based on a certain belief you may have like not good enough, not worthy, not deserving. These decisions often lead to self-sabotage, procrastination, or make you cross your boundaries big time.
And then you have options that are heart-led. Those are choices coming from your heart and intuition, and are in alignment with your well-being and higher good. It’s your gut telling you what to do. It bypasses all logic and ratio. You might not understand why you would take that decision and can’t really explain it to others too, but it just feels right. You just have a knowing. It’s almost as if it’s bigger than you.
Next step
So whatever you decide, it is essential that your decisions are heart-led. How you become heart-led is by breaking through your deep-rooted limiting beliefs, fears, uncertainties, and intergenerational patterns and traumas.
And I can help you do that.
How? Let’s schedule a Transformation Plan Call. And without strings attached, I will tell you all about it.
Now, what does your gut have to say about that?