“Life coaches are frauds. Everyone can call him or herself a life coach and get a certificate after just a little workshop or course. But to be a psychologist you’ll need real education…”
That’s what I heard yesterday, coming from an ex-psychologist.
I don’t know what these words are doing to you. It certainly ignited my fire. So, while I was digesting this, I concluded that this person is completely overlooking the ONE THING that really only matters (what that is I will come to that later).
And at the same time, I think it also reveals today’s biggest problem in healing, growth, creativity, exploration, originality, innovation, and development.
Exponential growth of coaching
So much is written already about the exponential growth of coaches in the market. Often stating that life coaches are frauds, and coaches are just a lot of thin air, fluff, and nothing but good marketers.
Yes, of course, there are bad ones out there, and also good ones. Experienced ones, and start-ups. Some coaches are in it for the money, some coaches are in it because it’s their passion. And anything in between. Like in any other industry.
Missing it
Earlier this week, I was watching Below Deck Mediterranean. It’s a real-life series about Super Yacht staff. Binge watch worthy if you ask me.
Anyway, in that specific season, there was a Le Cordon Bleu-trained chef. Graduated from one of the most well-known institutes for French haute cuisine, this chef was hired for a very big multi-million dollar yacht, to make the most exclusive meals imaginable. Expectations were really high.
So when it was time for her to deliver her first dinner, she served some supermarket nachos (and forgot the cheese), some burgers and fries, and (OMG!) heated steaks in the microwave.
When the captain asked her about her choices, she said these items were mentioned on the preference sheet of the guests, so she just followed that.
But worse even, what was so noticeable, was the lack of joy, passion, braveness, creativity, and authenticity from this chef.
It looked like she was just ticking off a list. And that was it. She seemed so bored, unhappy, unfulfilled, disconnected, and so out of alignment with her purpose. She became almost like a robot.
And although she had years of traditional reputable culinary education, she was missing ‘it’. She was missing (or maybe lost) the spark, the zest, the fire, and the heart to turn a meal into an experience the guests never forget.
No lasting breakthroughs
Now back to that ex-psychologist.
In my opinion, it is not a certificate from a reputable school that makes someone automatically a great professional. No, there is often One Thing that is overlooked in the ‘quality assessment’ of personal development professionals, which is vital, and that a formal degree (or any degree) will not secure. Worse even, might even block this One Thing.
Before I tell you what this is, did you know that 4 out of 5 women do not get long-lasting breakthroughs from therapies they follow, programs they enroll in, and books they read? And find themselves stuck no matter what they are trying?
Not for women
One of the reasons why women stay stuck is that most processes out there are not designed for women.
As you read through any history of psychology, you might notice that it focuses almost entirely on the theories and contributions of men. This is not because women had no interest in the field of psychology, but is largely because women were excluded from pursuing academic training and practice, and female contributions were minimized for a very long period of time.
Nowadays, 80% percent of therapists are female. But the processes they are using are still founded on these male systems and schools of thought.
We have always thought that if it will work on men, it will work on women too. But, in physical healthcare, professionals begin to realize that men and women need gender-specific treatment. And therefore, we can assume this is needed in mental healthcare too.
The one thing that really matters
Now, what would it mean, if therapists with years of study need to conclude that what they keep doing and advocating, is for 4 out of 5 women not working well enough, or lasting enough? Especially if about 70% of their clientele is female.
That could give a major identity crisis, as well as a financial one I guess.
But what does holding on to old paradigms do to growth and development? Especially for women?
How does this really serve women who are stuck, and who need help? Is this in their best interest?
Because what she needs is not guaranteed by traditional industry education only, or by holding on to ego, short-sightedness, or male-based science.
The ONE THING that really only matters to her is… results.
